I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
