so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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