super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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