Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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