That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
