I wish I could punch you in the face.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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