How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
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