just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
