Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
