Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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