But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
