Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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