I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
