I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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