Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Randomize
