Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
