Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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