We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
