im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
