So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
