i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Just pee around me
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
