is your mom at the bar?
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
