i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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