I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
