oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
