wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
