i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
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