guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
