The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize
