we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Randomize
