I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Randomize