a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
operation harelip BJ is a go
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
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