You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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