we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
love makes seman taste better
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Randomize
