Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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