I cockslap morals
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
