Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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