I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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