For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
