He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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