what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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