remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
