I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
