you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
