i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
