How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Randomize