At least make sure they are 18
Why
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
