Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize