I think im going to throw up on grandma
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Randomize
