3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
