He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
