Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
