the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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