Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
