Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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