how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
