so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
