She is in my trunk
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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