Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
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