Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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