He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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