We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
