Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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