i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
