Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
