So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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