They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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