I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize