I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
