i wish peter jackson would direct porn
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
