I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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