nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Randomize
