we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Randomize