Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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