My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
