I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize