Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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