Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
